Sometimes, you have to be selfish.
I know, I know—this coming from the girl who recently blogged about radical kindness.
But I’ll say it boldly: Sometimes, selfishness is necessary.
This is what makes forgiveness (and love and peace and patience and any other virtue), well, a virtue: It’s all about you.
Forgiveness can’t be about the other person—after all, she just hurt you.
You forgive someone for your own sake.*
You forgive someone to avoid bitterness.
You forgive someone to cultivate your own purity of heart.
You forgive someone to be better.
And that’s the beauty of forgiveness (and all virtue), that’s why it’s such a blessing: Because there’s nothing you can do to earn someone’s forgiveness; it’s all about them.
Forgiveness is given freely.
Love is given freely.
Peace is given freely.
Patience is given freely.
Virtue is given freely.
They all say I don’t care what you have or have not to offer; you don’t determine my reaction.
Sounds pretty selfish to me.
*Those of faith might argue forgiveness is necessary because you’ve been forgiven, but I don’t see the two as contradictory. Rather, we’re human and need more than one good reason to do anything.
Mary's One Hundred 