This morning, I read a horrific article on the 10 Uncomfortable Signs You’re Actually Becoming The Person You’re Supposed To Be. I was ready for enlightenment; instead, I found disappointment.
I refuse to accept that growing up means dissatisfaction. So, I wrote my own 10 Signs of Becoming because, spoiler alert, you and I are always becoming.
1. You’re not afraid of alone time.
You want to see that movie or try that beer, and no one’s around? Go by yourself! The only person guaranteed to be with you the rest of your life is yourself; might as well enjoy the company.
This doesn’t mean you’re isolated. Isolation is bad. People need people. Call me, let’s hang out.
2. You are honest with yourself.
Alright, I’m going to give this one to TC. I’ve re-framed it so I don’t get in trouble, and so it encompasses both strengths and weaknesses—you’re honest enough to self-asses who you are and how you act, and change when you don’t like what you find out.
3. You develop meaningful relationships.
In the past 10 years, I have only cut ties with one close friend. In the past 10 years, I’ve also gained a dozen more close friends. Becoming doesn’t have to involve cutting ties. It should, if necessary, but it’s also OK to maintain plenty of flourishing relationships…dare I say, imperative?
4. You don’t expect things from people.
You don’t draw conclusions or make assumptions about someone; you let them show you who they really are. Don’t expect someone to stick around unless they say they will. Don’t expect someone to break your heart until they’ve already let you down.
5. You understand that life is a journey.
Work hard to appreciate where you’re at now, and set goals so you’ll appreciate where you’re going. You can change who you are what you do at any point. How exciting is that?!
6. You find joy in being alive.
I am happy every day. Not all day, every day—but every day. And this is coming from someone who’s mentally ill. If you feel sad every day, truly, please, talk to someone. Life isn’t always about getting what you want—but it is about being happy.
7. You make time for the things that matter.
There is no glory in being burnt out, overwhelmed, living off 5 hours of sleep. When you make time for things that matter, you have more time do them, and you enjoy them more fully. This means being selective and saying “no” to things that won’t strengthen your soul.
8. You learn something from every experience.
Everything is a lesson. I grew up hearing my dad say that damn near every day. Or, at least, it felt like it was every day. As a child, I hated it Can’t I just live and not have to learn anything?!
As an adult, I revel in it If I can learn even the smallest thing, no experience is a waste!
9. You cherish your past, you don’t live in it.
Growing up is awesome! Sure, sometimes it’s hard, and if I were given the choice, I’d let someone pay my bills—I mean, if you’re offering…
Looking back will never move your forward. Appreciate your past, cherish it—it made you who you are today. But stay busy building a present with the people and places you have now.
10. You don’t know what the hell you’re doing.
I kept this similar to TC’s, but I prefer my take. Only the fool is sure (another thing Dad always said). That used to terrify me—like, but how will I know what to DO?!
Now, I just tilt my head back and laugh. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing, and it feels great—I have the rest of my life to adventure and figure it out.
Mary's One Hundred 